The joys of dating

17-Oct-2016 04:02

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I’m not a slim woman, by any stretch of the imagination.I’m curvy, full-figured, voluptuous…whatever you want to call it. I could just end this post here, and you would get the idea, but I won’t because, well, I like to talk. I’m a single mum of three and a nana to a beautiful little boy, and possibly another one by the time this is published, but there is another one due very soon.And those two facts alone seem to present something of a quandary for single middle-aged men.And because these men think that as a single mother I must be ‘gagging for it’, I can guarantee that their performance would be, at best, lukewarm.They don’t need to make an effort, or so they think. The thing is, when us ladies reach middle age, we can’t be bothered wasting our time on shit sex. It interferes with our sleep and makes more washing. We’ve sown our wild oats, and had the good, the bad, and the ugly of partners, and unless you have something special to give, we’re not going to be bothered.I kid you not, on the majority of profiles, these men will list two of the following: long hair, big boobs, slim, sporty, wears high heels, wears stockings, looks after herself. But when you look at the kind of men who require these things, invariably they are bald, have man boobs, tubby, haven’t seen a gym in years, wear socks and sandals and haven’t seen a dentist in years. I personally think men are sexy when they are bald, and I prefer a man to have something to grab hold of, but I would state that on my profile.I think we’re all beautiful, and pretty fucking awesome.

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And by something special, I don’t mean material things.

I mean personality, sense of humour, kindness…we don’t need to be taken care of financially – if we’ve made it this far in life believe me, we are self-sufficient.

I would say plus size but I hate that term, but what I’m not is skinny.

And there is nothing wrong with skinny women, there’s nothing wrong with any woman actually.

Apparently, if the men on the dating site I visit on an intermittent basis are to be believed, single mothers are desperate for sex, but grandmothers are past it. Let me just say, before we go any further, that I am neither desperate for sex, nor past it.Give me a mug of cocoa over bad sex, or even mediocre sex, any night of the week.